Stuff I’m thankful for in 2011

I’m pretty sure that gratitude equals happiness.

I’m thankful for…my family,  my 5th graders and brow beating them, my 12th graders, that I teach Economics but really I teach ‘how not to be stupid with money,’ Brittany, Megan, Tatiana, Mark, Abby, Jourdan and my fellow social studies education folks, words like folks, pioneer and saying “oh, my word” and “that girl needs Jesus,” pie, having time to cook, having time to bake, having time to clean up the mess  from the baking and the cooking, my new laptop battery,my monthly planner, my weekly planner, fierce young women, that Caleb has returned and he’s still inspiring me, breaking up fights about why exactly lil’ Kim went to prison, UbD, Adele and that you can count on hearing her at least 3 times a day, for my 12th graders renditions of Adele songs, a clean kitchen, babies, professors who know their stuff, daily mass, the Early History of God, good movies, female altar servers,Mormon Stories Podcast Community, expo markers, when students ‘get it,’ for my 12th graders reviews of my fashion choices, Yips, Flavors, my mommy, warm blankets, socks, sweaters, when GAP has crazy sales, Traveling with Pomegranates, Hilary Clinton, Joanna Brooks, sister-in-law, brother-in-law,my twitter followers, blogging, good books, Ryan Gosling (feminist and typographer), history, my 32 oz water bottle, the color green, nap time, down time, me time, knitting after a stressful day, running ahead of schedule, waking up on time, caprese salad, headphones, Bobst 4th floor, cold rooms, Texas (minus Rick Perry), feminist theory, my daddy and my Almi, Mormonism, Arizona Tea, Zebra pens, mugs, soup, men in coats, The Jewish Study Bible, Lion Brand Yarn Studio, my brother, my nephew (he does the best cover of Biz Markie ever), meaningful arguments, Rev. James Martin, American Magazine, historiography, NYT, vacuum cleaner, zebra lunchbox, grading in pencil as to not invoke bleeding, gin and tonic, drinks with social studies people, B.’s couch, Halls vitamin C cough drops, the 6 train, movie giftcards, Trader Joes, avoiding Canal street on the weekends, Sister Wives, art magazines, Everyday Food, tall glasses of milk, breakfast cereal, watches, comfy shoes, lotion, light math,

and sermons about love and the actual teachings of Jesus Christ.

Seeking peace

I woke up this morning knowing it was the tenth anniversary of 9/11 but I intended to steer clear of any memorials on TV or around the city. I’m living smack dab between Chinatown and Tribeca and the police presence the last couple of days has been at times overwhelming. As much as I believe in community mourning something about 9/11 makes me want to sit in a quite room alone to read about and reflect on the events of the day. A homily at church was about as close as I was planning on getting to community mourning or tribute.

As I was trekking to Mass at 8am there was an overwhelming quite throughout my neighborhood. When I got to my subway station it was blocked, so I wandered a little further and the next station was roped off too. I continued on, asking police officers and New Yorkers where the closest (and open) station was. No one was sure. At this point my Sunday shoes were starting to pinch my feet and I wondered if I’d make it to Mass on time. I found myself on a one-way traffic sidewalk. The streets were pretty deserted, save for police officers every few blocks. I figured I was just plain lost at this point so I decided catching a cab was my safest bet. Except I realized there wasn’t vehicular traffic anywhere. I crossed the street and found myself standing in a crowd. I was still on a mission to find an open subway. I felt a little trapped and looked up to find myself on the corner of Vesey and Broadway and there was dead silence. I peaked around the corner and there was standing tall, brilliantly One World Trade Center. New Yorker’s and tourists alike were listening with all of their might to the memorial service just blocks ahead.

I marvelled at it with my fellow Americans for a minute or two. The peace I found at that corner was beautiful and awe-inspiring. I count on one hand the times I’ve been in a crowd like that where all anyone wants to do is listen. I soaked it in as much as I could before folks trying to hand out 9/11 conspiracy pamphlets got the best of me (one of the reason I didn’t want to go to any type of 9/11 gathering).

I finally found a police officer who usually patrolled the area who gave me directions to a subway station.I got to Mass thirty minutes late. To me, thirty minutes late is “why even show up” worthy. I sat a Starbucks and listened to two police women commiserate over their 9/11 duties. Happy to be doing their duty, unhappy to be taken from their usual positions where they can answer people’s questions (like where is the nearest open subway station). At 9:50 I ran back across the street to my church and got to hear the closing hymn. I nearly cried buckets listening to “Let there be peace on earth.”

Afterwards I met with the head of the religious education department to discuss which grade I would be willing to teach. I’ve been reading the curriculum ever since. I cannot wait to share my love of the Gospel and guide my class full of 10 year olds to seek peace wherever they can.

We’ll be judged on our capacity to love

I took a little trip to a local Catholic parish and was so happy to find a simple and meaningful Homily. Based on a reading from the Books of Wisdom and Hebrews the priest reminded us that when we are finally judged “we’ll be evaluated on how much we loved each other.” That’s what I like to hear, that’s what I need to be reminded of.

What makes a person a “true” Christian? Isn’t it the capacity to love. Jesus was a radical. He questioned and made a whole lot of people uncomfortable preaching about love. I think Christianity today focuses on the wrong things. Our faith tradition should be rooted in love, respect and equality.

I admire someone like Anne Rice. I understand her disillusionment with Christianity but her undying commitment to Jesus’ teachings. I empathize with her. I think she got tired of saying “I’m Christian but I believe in gay marriage, abortion, and evolution.” We shouldn’t have to say “but.” It’s saddening that Christianity lost a member because of the culture and not because of The Gospel.

Christianity is about using Jesus as an example of a righteous life,  lived in love and service to others. As the priest at Mass today said “we must be watchful, watchful that our actions exemplify Jesus’ teachings” and not reflective of a warped christian culture.

Thinking of Flight

St. Joseph's University Parish

I expect certain things from Sunday Mass, an enthusiastic choir and an uplifting homily. The Catholic parish I attend in NYC is rich with both and then some but whenever I trek home for the holidays or summer I find myself more interested in whatever my nephew’s doing or where we’ll go for breakfast after.

After I moved away to attend college Sunday Mass became a place of refuge after a day of homework and errand running, the knowledge on a Sunday morning that I knew exactly what part of the Mass my family was partaking in was comforting. Now, I sit, stand and kneel and let my mind wander.

Me as a lector at a family wedding

The problems I’m having are not with the Catholic Mass it’s the funeral march singing and the lackluster homilies. I am getting so irritated I’m on the verge of switching parishes. Every time I’m considering my flight to the parish closer to my house I ask myself “Why are you Catholic? Isn’t it because it’s your family’s faith tradition?” I then start to feel that Catholic guilt, if it’s not making my parents happy I shouldn’t go to a different parish, then again as a Confirmed Catholic I not only have the agency but the responsibility to look out for my spiritual growth.

I’m not bored, just uninspired. A friend at work said that you should walk into church feeling one way and leave another, which is true for me but I walk in sleepy and walk out ready to argue with the priest. I want to hear about being kind to each other, mercy, love, repentance not where other denominations got it wrong or the “Trueness” of the church, or “society downplays marriage.” I want spirituality not a lesson in theology or society’s questionable morals.

One of my favorite writers and Word Press bloggers, not to mention fabulous Religion Dispatches contributor, Joanna Brooks offered readers and one bored fellow mormon in her Ask Mormon Girl blog this advice: (I’m chopping up her lovely words)

1. Maybe it’s like my Bikram yoga teacher tells us when we’re all dying to get out of the 90-minute 105-degree-heated class:  just stay in the room, and you will receive the benefits.

2. Reconceive of what it means to learn at this point in your spiritual development.  Maybe your next big phase of spiritual growth is less about doctrinal “what” questions and more about these challenging and deepening “how” to do faith questions:  especially this, how do I keep learning and growing when Sunday meetings bore me?

3. Use the time for deep breathing and silent meditation.  Couldn’t you use a meditative 45 minutes in a relatively chill place?

4. Supplement, supplement, supplement.  Is there anything you’ve always wanted to understand better about Church teachings or history?  Take charge.

The plan for tomorrow, focus on the parts of Mass that work for me, like the consecration,  and silently OM to myself whenever the homily gets a little judgmental. The rest of the week, my first week off since returning home, I’m planning on yoga, writing some long overdue letters to my missionary friend, a lot of praying and a whole lot of doing nothing.

Doubting Tom 2.0- Ascension Sunday

Today’s homily regarding Ascension Sunday was almost as awful as the one I heard on Divine Mercy Sunday. For Catholics, I think we’re the only ones who make a day out of it, Ascension Sunday commemorates Jesus’ ascension into Heaven to be with his Heavenly Father. Kind of a big deal, right? Explain to me why my priest spent over half of the Homily talking about how we should evangalize not to bring people the Gospel but to bring them into the Catholic Church.

I know I’m supposed to believe in the whole idea of a One True Church but I don’t. I think the Catholic Church was the first church, created by Jesus, carried out by the apostles but there’s just no way only one religion can be right. Think about it…it’s impossible for 2,000 years worth of people to read the same book and come to the same conclusions.

Ben Skylar/ Getty Images, December 6, 2007

Mitt Romney gave a speech entitled “Faith in America” in December 2007, an attempt to convince Protestants “Hey, I’m Christian too. I love Jesus,” which is completely true but this speech reeked of urgency. I’m not really a Mitt fan,  he’s such an easy target, especially when he’s trying to talk about Mormonism without really talking about it or defending Massachusetts health care. Romney said:

I believe that every faith I have encountered draws its adherents closer to God. And in every faith I have come to know, there are features I wish were in my own: I love the profound ceremony of the Catholic Mass, the approachability of God in the prayers of the Evangelicals, the tenderness of spirit among the Pentecostals, the confident independence of the Lutherans, the ancient traditions of the Jews, unchanged through the ages, and the commitment to frequent prayer of the Muslims. As I travel across the country and see our towns and cities, I am always moved by the many houses of worship with their steeples, all pointing to heaven, reminding us of the source of life’s blessings.

Why do we have to convert each other, why can’t evangelization be about sharing? Why can’t we say to our brothers and sisters “This is what works for me. What works for you? What fulfills you?”

Mormons believe in a pre-mortal existence where Heavenly Father (Heavenly Mother too) created all of us and as his Heavenly creations he gives us the opportunity to come down to earth and experience mortal life, the joys and sorrows, sin and redemption. In our mortal lives we work our way back towards eternity.

Why not use our lifetime to learn and share so that when we return to our Father (and Mother) in Heaven we can live in peace, communion, and understanding with one another? Is there nothing to gain from learning about  the tenants of Islam or the spiritualism of Shintoism?

Maybe I’m being too idealistic but a quick note to Catholic priests: Ascension Sunday is about how one day we can go back to Heavenly Father too, not the trueness of our faith tradition.