Stuff I’m thankful for in 2011

I’m pretty sure that gratitude equals happiness.

I’m thankful for…my family,  my 5th graders and brow beating them, my 12th graders, that I teach Economics but really I teach ‘how not to be stupid with money,’ Brittany, Megan, Tatiana, Mark, Abby, Jourdan and my fellow social studies education folks, words like folks, pioneer and saying “oh, my word” and “that girl needs Jesus,” pie, having time to cook, having time to bake, having time to clean up the mess  from the baking and the cooking, my new laptop battery,my monthly planner, my weekly planner, fierce young women, that Caleb has returned and he’s still inspiring me, breaking up fights about why exactly lil’ Kim went to prison, UbD, Adele and that you can count on hearing her at least 3 times a day, for my 12th graders renditions of Adele songs, a clean kitchen, babies, professors who know their stuff, daily mass, the Early History of God, good movies, female altar servers,Mormon Stories Podcast Community, expo markers, when students ‘get it,’ for my 12th graders reviews of my fashion choices, Yips, Flavors, my mommy, warm blankets, socks, sweaters, when GAP has crazy sales, Traveling with Pomegranates, Hilary Clinton, Joanna Brooks, sister-in-law, brother-in-law,my twitter followers, blogging, good books, Ryan Gosling (feminist and typographer), history, my 32 oz water bottle, the color green, nap time, down time, me time, knitting after a stressful day, running ahead of schedule, waking up on time, caprese salad, headphones, Bobst 4th floor, cold rooms, Texas (minus Rick Perry), feminist theory, my daddy and my Almi, Mormonism, Arizona Tea, Zebra pens, mugs, soup, men in coats, The Jewish Study Bible, Lion Brand Yarn Studio, my brother, my nephew (he does the best cover of Biz Markie ever), meaningful arguments, Rev. James Martin, American Magazine, historiography, NYT, vacuum cleaner, zebra lunchbox, grading in pencil as to not invoke bleeding, gin and tonic, drinks with social studies people, B.’s couch, Halls vitamin C cough drops, the 6 train, movie giftcards, Trader Joes, avoiding Canal street on the weekends, Sister Wives, art magazines, Everyday Food, tall glasses of milk, breakfast cereal, watches, comfy shoes, lotion, light math,

and sermons about love and the actual teachings of Jesus Christ.

Because situations like this always happen to me…

Coworker #1: I had to get a ride to work today because my roommate was taking a bunch of people to some conference. I don’t know she’s Mormon. She’s always driving people everywhere.

Me: Oh, it must have been Stake Conference.

Coworker #1: Yes, that’s what it is! How did you know that?

Coworker #2: Are you Mormon?

Me: No, I just study it…as I hobby I guess. I’m Catholic.

Coworker #2: Cool, me too!

Coworker #1: My parents raised me Catholic but then I learned that all that stuff is made up. None of that Catholic stuff is in the Bible. I go to an Apostalic church now because Catholicism isn’t true.

Me: Oh, okay. I guess it’s good you found somewhere you feel at home.

Then this morning while I was out to breakfast with my dad a deacon from my parents’ parish stopped by our table with his wife.

Wife: How are you doing? When will you be done with school?

Me: Great! I only have a year left.

My Dad: She’s taking a lot of Religious Studies classes.

Deacon: Oh, you’re gonna be a priest.

Me: hahahaha and get excommunicated?

Wife: Well you should become a deacon?

Me: uh….and get excommunicated?

Wife: You could pave the way.

Me: I hear ya sister but I’m not giving up my membership.

Wife: Welll then some day.

I swear, Heavenly Father sends this stuff my way on purpose. To teach me a lesson? To drive me crazy?

 Remember last summer?

 

Ladies at Work

Yep, those are "altar girls" with Blessed Pope John Paul II

In the summer of 1998, a few weeks after I donned a pure white First Communion dress with a pretty awesome veil, I went to altar server training. For three years I served my parish community alongside my older brother every Sunday and for several more years I continued on and helped (and by help I mean tell then after Mass “Ringing the bells is all in the wrist. Here I’ll show you.” I was ten give me a break) other young girls and boys fulfill their role as an altar server. I loved it. I loved bringing the priest what he needed throughout the Mass, I held the book for him as he read blessings and when I was strong enough l carried the cross, leading the procession of altar servers, lector, deacon and priest in and out of the sanctuary. I took my job setting up for the next Mass seriously. Once I hit high high school I followed in the footsteps of mother and sister and became a lector. I had the wonderful experience of Sunday after Sunday listening to either the bold, authoritative voice of my mother or my sister’s kind, assertive voice over the pulpit, reading the Word of God from the lectern. It was not uncommon for people to recognize our family, which included my brother (who became an usher) and father, a Eucharistic Minister at the groceries or restaurants, etc.

Look boys AND girls serving

Despite what Michael Voris claims in his recent installment of the Vortex, The Feminization of the Church*, my presence and the presence of women in leadership positions have not deterred men from taking active roles in the parish. Along with seeing my mother and older sister read to our congregation I also saw men do the same. I served alongside boys my age on the altar too. My father served shoulder to shoulder with women when distributing Communion. All around me I see men and women playing their part to serve our parish family and Heavenly Father.

Voris is right, however, men typically do not enjoy taking direction from women. Doesn’t that say more about men than it does about women? He is also right that men attend church less frequently and serve in ministries less frequently too. But when I look at my home parish it feels very 50/50.

We have a pastor (the head priest, my childhood priest is now a Monsigeur but we all still call him Father) and two parochial vicars (a fancy way of saying priest), and four deacons. These guys are the top dogs followed closely by our very capable and organized female parish office manager. Our religious education director is a nun and the mother superior of her convent. By the way, her office manager is a lay man. For a period of time growing up the RE director was a young charismatic priest. I attend 8 am Mass (which means the church is not packed and we’re always looking for more people to serve in every capacity) and when I was younger my brother and I were the only altar servers. When I go to Mass with my parents most of the alter servers are girls with a few boys now and then. Most lectors at 8 am are women, however in my parish in New York it’s practically even. The choir director is female and has a couple of men and four or five women under her stewardship. The head usher and altar server trainer is a man. In terms of RE teachers I have had a variation of male and female teachers. The ushers are predominately male but I know of a family of girls who have all served in this capacity at Masses later in the day. The leader of the ACTS retreat community is a woman (my mom!) and she serves with both men and women.

A lady at work

I see a vibrant community at my home parish, my NYC parish and the new parish I will be attending in the Summer.

Voris’s assertion that the presence of female altar servers “blurs the distinction” between masculinity and femininity just ain’t true. My days as an altar server are a defining part of my life as a Catholic. What equitable experience of service during the Celebration of the Eucharist is there for an eight year old?

I was a fabulous altar server and if my female presence on the altar deterred boys from serving their faith community that says more about them and their parents than it does about me.

The bigger problem in my Church is the education of the laity (both young and old) and retention, not little girls who are awesome at ringing bells and lining up purificators. 

*He also says some stuff about it’s feminie to run out of a room crying and other things that are pretty darn sexist. Voris is right in saying there is something intrinsically different about males and females but the things he decided to point out were sickening.

Blogging Vacation

School is winding down and I am falling way behind partially due to the mountain of  work I have and partially because of my own tendency towards procrastination. I’m not sure when I’ll be back from my blogging vacation but I do have some neat things lined up for my return. In the mean time here’s an update on a few things.

1. I love Mormons. I spent the weekend of March 25th with a wonderful group of Mormons of all stripes from Mormon Stories Podcast. We ate, prayed, sang, listened to talks and watched the Book of Mormon the Musical together. I was literally floating on cloud after meeting all those good people. One day I’ll post the outrageously long email I sent my friend about the weekend. Read about the play here. And hear a portion of our conference here.

2. I heard Elie Wiesel speak tonight and it was amazing even though I didn’t get to be in the same room as him because there were a ton of people there. He spoke about “respecting the other for their otherness,” and the importance of human love. I got all choked up when someone asked him about his faith. “Well, what am I to do? Say “God, I divorce you!”? I’m a Jewish man. I come from a long line of teachers and thinkers. I can’t stop being a Jew that would betray them. I have faith. It’s a wounded faith but I have it.”

3. I was pretty down after reading this letter about a priest who was excommunicated in 2008 for calling for the ordination of women and more recently resigned from his religious community over the same issue. It was such a beautiful letter filled with love and hurt and angst and appreciation for all sides of the argument. It was nice to see dissent minus vitriol and nice to see someone remind up about the Catholic teachings about conscience.  I feel obliged to say, for a million reasons, I’m not saying women should be ordained I’m saying we should have a chat about it.

4. Then I read this lovely and refreshing piece in the Huffington Post and remembered oh, yeah, we’re a diverse group of people dragging our beloved Church into the 21st century!

5. When I watch RealCatholicTV my face still gets all contorted with confusion and revulsion and I whisper to myself “we were baptized into the same body.”  Sometimes you just have to say no to RealCatholicTV even if they teach you words like jingoistic.

6. I love my Mormon missionary friend but if he writes me one more letter detailing how simple his religion is I might just scream via handwritten letter, in a well mannered, kind way of course.

Catholic Dating Site–part I

Tonight while browsing around Patheos’ Catholic Portal I ended up clicking on a Catholic dating site. Not to worry, I feel ridiculous typing those words. It is true I am registered on a Catholic dating site and it is all kinds of weird. I was meandering around the site and bam I saw the ad, clicked and the next thing I knew I was filling forms out talking about just how Catholic I am and how much I love Marvin Gay, Aaron Sorkin, Chinese food and referring to God as Heavenly Father.

First of all, I don’t want to get married for many, many years. Getting married within the next five years just does not seem like the right fit for me. I do not really want to date. I am a big believer in college being this selfish time that is all about your personal development, sure dating does play a role in that but it is my third year in the city and pickin’s are slim.

Things got weirder when I took the ‘Temperment Quiz” that failed to capture how amazing I am, I kid. It failed to capture me at all. Let’s go through the list of my vices…

aggressive, ambitious, angry, antagonistic, argumentative, bossy, combative, defiant, dismissive, domineering, harsh, impatient, intolerant, oppositional, prideful, pushy, relentless, shrewd, stubborn, unempathic, unsympathetic

Without getting into too many details I will say that a handful of these ‘vices’ have a perfectly acceptable time and place. And my mother always tells me I’m compassionate–I have to toot my own horn after listing all those vices.

If my vices don’t drive the good Catholic men of the tri-state area away my ‘About Me’ sure will. I stuck to my usual “student, little sister, blogger, TV enthusiast, Mormon admirer and progressive Catholic feminist.” Most faithful Catholic boys aren’t jumping at the chance to date girls who dabble in Mormonism (gasp! They think we’re the church of the devil! *Not true…anymore) and proclaim to be progressives (double gasp…that’s just a sneaky way of calling yourself a liberal who wants to change church doctrine) and feminists (you must hate men! and want lady priests *that’s not a half bad idea). I have a feeling just by reading what my favorite prayers (Hail Holy Queen, Hail Mary and The Magnificat) and my favorite saint (Joan of Arc, she rules!) are these boys will get a sense of my feminist bent. At some point we should all discuss why self-worded prayer wasn’t even an option because that is actually my favorite.

You have to answer questions about your faithfulness to Catholic doctrines and people can decided how many of the 7 teachings you have to believe in. I wish it would have said “on a scale of one to ten do you accept this teaching?’ It didn’t–it was a yes or no thing so here are my real answers.

Do you accept the Church’s teaching about Contraception?

Yes and No. I know about Natural Family Planning but unless you are a highly regular gal it seems like a crap shoot because your cycle’s always a different number of ways so plotting out your sex life seems oh, so complicated. I want babies when I want babies and I’m 99% sure Heavenly Father has my back on this one (timing of babies, that is, not contraception). I think there are tons of potent and important spiritual benefits from NFP that can still be achieved while using contraception. Like the abstaining aspect. Why can’t you and your husband make goals about abstaining during certain times of the month (not necessarily THE time of the month) and work together to achieve those goals? My jury’s still out on this one and I’m kinda thrilled I don’t have to really wrestle with this for many, many years.

Do you accept the Church’s teaching on the Sanctity of Life?

Another toughie. I see a women’s right to choose as an important right, one that I won’t exercise but it’s integral in empowering women to make choices (all kinds of choices) about their bodies and their lives. I’m of the ‘just because it’s legal doesn’t mean you have to do it’ frame of mind on this issue. I guess my official stance is I want women to support one another, engage in discussion with other women and health care providers and make thoughtful choices. I wish more women felt empowered to place their babies up for adoption but I’ll also hold anyone’s hand while they make tough choices. I don’t think I could ever drive someone to a clinic but I think I have it in me to help them sort through the emotional aftermath. My nephew makes the opinion even more complicated because he’s so cute, tiny and the perfect creation.

Lets also not forget that the Sanctity of Life also extends to capital punishment. I’m on the fence about this too again because of my nephew. I once stared down a lady before Mass because they were shooting dirty looks at my nephew and whispering. If I’m ready to brawl with the old lady in the pew a few feet away what would I do if someone actually hurt my nephew? I want to say I’d be forgiving but mostly I think I’d be pleased as punch to watch this hypothetical person suffer. So for now, I’m against the death penalty and think people should rot in prison but I could see that opinion changing. You never really know until you’re in the situation.

Do you accept the Chruch’s teachings on Papal Infallibility?

YES!…but wait are we all talking about the same thing? Sometimes Catholics get a little zealous (and wrong) about this infallibility thing. Just because he was chosen by God doesn’t mean he walks around all day being perfect. For those who don’t know Papal Infallibility only occurs when the Pope declares something in ex cathedra, or rather that he has received divine revelation about a spiritual or moral topic which hasn’t happened since the canonization of the Assumption of Mary in the 1950s. So, if we’re all on the same page here then yes I accept the Church’s teachings on Papal Infallibility.

I know that nothing will come out of this bizarre experiment because when I got the message that several of these Catholic bachelors had already viewed my profile I made the face I make when I watch Glenn Beck and thought to myself “That’s so creepy.”

In Part II I’ll talk about the other Catholic questions asked, like what’s your favorite sacramentals? And more on my lack luster quest to ‘find’ a nice Catholic boy who’s also “kind, dependable, funny, thoughtful and proactive about their faith.”