Tonight while browsing around Patheos’ Catholic Portal I ended up clicking on a Catholic dating site. Not to worry, I feel ridiculous typing those words. It is true I am registered on a Catholic dating site and it is all kinds of weird. I was meandering around the site and bam I saw the ad, clicked and the next thing I knew I was filling forms out talking about just how Catholic I am and how much I love Marvin Gay, Aaron Sorkin, Chinese food and referring to God as Heavenly Father.
First of all, I don’t want to get married for many, many years. Getting married within the next five years just does not seem like the right fit for me. I do not really want to date. I am a big believer in college being this selfish time that is all about your personal development, sure dating does play a role in that but it is my third year in the city and pickin’s are slim.
Things got weirder when I took the ‘Temperment Quiz” that failed to capture how amazing I am, I kid. It failed to capture me at all. Let’s go through the list of my vices…
aggressive, ambitious, angry, antagonistic, argumentative, bossy, combative, defiant, dismissive, domineering, harsh, impatient, intolerant, oppositional, prideful, pushy, relentless, shrewd, stubborn, unempathic, unsympathetic
Without getting into too many details I will say that a handful of these ‘vices’ have a perfectly acceptable time and place. And my mother always tells me I’m compassionate–I have to toot my own horn after listing all those vices.
If my vices don’t drive the good Catholic men of the tri-state area away my ‘About Me’ sure will. I stuck to my usual “student, little sister, blogger, TV enthusiast, Mormon admirer and progressive Catholic feminist.” Most faithful Catholic boys aren’t jumping at the chance to date girls who dabble in Mormonism (gasp! They think we’re the church of the devil! *Not true…anymore) and proclaim to be progressives (double gasp…that’s just a sneaky way of calling yourself a liberal who wants to change church doctrine) and feminists (you must hate men! and want lady priests *that’s not a half bad idea). I have a feeling just by reading what my favorite prayers (Hail Holy Queen, Hail Mary and The Magnificat) and my favorite saint (Joan of Arc, she rules!) are these boys will get a sense of my feminist bent. At some point we should all discuss why self-worded prayer wasn’t even an option because that is actually my favorite.
You have to answer questions about your faithfulness to Catholic doctrines and people can decided how many of the 7 teachings you have to believe in. I wish it would have said “on a scale of one to ten do you accept this teaching?’ It didn’t–it was a yes or no thing so here are my real answers.
Do you accept the Church’s teaching about Contraception?
Yes and No. I know about Natural Family Planning but unless you are a highly regular gal it seems like a crap shoot because your cycle’s always a different number of ways so plotting out your sex life seems oh, so complicated. I want babies when I want babies and I’m 99% sure Heavenly Father has my back on this one (timing of babies, that is, not contraception). I think there are tons of potent and important spiritual benefits from NFP that can still be achieved while using contraception. Like the abstaining aspect. Why can’t you and your husband make goals about abstaining during certain times of the month (not necessarily THE time of the month) and work together to achieve those goals? My jury’s still out on this one and I’m kinda thrilled I don’t have to really wrestle with this for many, many years.
Do you accept the Church’s teaching on the Sanctity of Life?
Another toughie. I see a women’s right to choose as an important right, one that I won’t exercise but it’s integral in empowering women to make choices (all kinds of choices) about their bodies and their lives. I’m of the ‘just because it’s legal doesn’t mean you have to do it’ frame of mind on this issue. I guess my official stance is I want women to support one another, engage in discussion with other women and health care providers and make thoughtful choices. I wish more women felt empowered to place their babies up for adoption but I’ll also hold anyone’s hand while they make tough choices. I don’t think I could ever drive someone to a clinic but I think I have it in me to help them sort through the emotional aftermath. My nephew makes the opinion even more complicated because he’s so cute, tiny and the perfect creation.
Lets also not forget that the Sanctity of Life also extends to capital punishment. I’m on the fence about this too again because of my nephew. I once stared down a lady before Mass because they were shooting dirty looks at my nephew and whispering. If I’m ready to brawl with the old lady in the pew a few feet away what would I do if someone actually hurt my nephew? I want to say I’d be forgiving but mostly I think I’d be pleased as punch to watch this hypothetical person suffer. So for now, I’m against the death penalty and think people should rot in prison but I could see that opinion changing. You never really know until you’re in the situation.
Do you accept the Chruch’s teachings on Papal Infallibility?
YES!…but wait are we all talking about the same thing? Sometimes Catholics get a little zealous (and wrong) about this infallibility thing. Just because he was chosen by God doesn’t mean he walks around all day being perfect. For those who don’t know Papal Infallibility only occurs when the Pope declares something in ex cathedra, or rather that he has received divine revelation about a spiritual or moral topic which hasn’t happened since the canonization of the Assumption of Mary in the 1950s. So, if we’re all on the same page here then yes I accept the Church’s teachings on Papal Infallibility.
I know that nothing will come out of this bizarre experiment because when I got the message that several of these Catholic bachelors had already viewed my profile I made the face I make when I watch Glenn Beck and thought to myself “That’s so creepy.”
In Part II I’ll talk about the other Catholic questions asked, like what’s your favorite sacramentals? And more on my lack luster quest to ‘find’ a nice Catholic boy who’s also “kind, dependable, funny, thoughtful and proactive about their faith.”